Ill-prepared, but well equipped.

 Earlier this year my wife told me that she was pregnant. I can honestly tell you that there are few times where I've exuded so much emotion. It literally poured out of me. However, now it's September 1st and our son is almost here (the due date is September 19^th). How exciting right? Well I've come to the realization, I am immensely ill-prepared, but incredibly equipped.

If you're reading you might be saying, "Don't say that Nick. I know you, you're going to be a great dad." I would respond by telling you that I know that. I know I'll have my follies and do things that are befitting of a “good father”. I'm not writing this because I want your compliments or happy and positive vibes. Nope, see I've come to the realization that I can't be a good father without the help of Jesus Christ.

My goal is not for my child to be a "good" human being. Good has changed throughout the years. Good has become "serving your community without expectation of reward or retribution after death." I get it, people serve for that warm fuzzy feeling of helping others and looking good in the community. They serve for their own means. Their reward is here on earth where they want and expect it. No, I want to see and spend time with my son for much longer than our time here on earth. I want my son to love Christ more than me, serve others better than me, love better than me, and lastly and most important glorify God better than I've ever thought about. I mean just look at the verses that Solomon gives us in Proverbs:

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. (Proverbs 23:13 NIV)

To have a fool for a child brings grief; there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool. (Proverbs 17:21 NIV)

Whoever robs their father and drives out their mother is a child who brings shame and disgrace. (Proverbs 19:26 NIV)

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. (Proverbs 22:15 NIV)

A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother. (Proverbs 29:15 NIV)

A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof. (Proverbs 19:13 NIV)

The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. (Proverbs 23:24 NIV)

So after my little moralist rant, I've gotta tell you; unless I all of a sudden get a doctorate in Theology, become a pastor, and dedicate my life to the homeless Mother Theresa style this isn't going to happen. Not in a million years would I be able to accomplish these things on my own. Look at what Proverbs tells me. I need to discipline my child, make sure he knows and understands who God is (not intellectually acknowledge Him, but know Him), make sure that he follows the right path, isn't foolish, make him righteous, and impart wisdom on him. This is only in reference to a child, there are 40 verses that reference “son”. I have to teach him how to protect his heart, not be a fool, stay away from adulterous women, work hard, to store up my commands and so much more. Normally, I would worry and stress out about this. I can't do this. I still have a marriage to maintain, work at a job, go to church, go to small group, be friends with people, run, sleep, eat, drink, and many other aspects of life that I'm just not referencing.

Yet I'm not worried. I have no reason to worry because this isn't my burden. I gave that up a long time ago, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). He will equip me, He will provide, and He will guide; I just have to listen, work for Him, be guided by Him, and let Him grow me. The last four years I've taken the yoke of Jesus and accepted the fact that I'm ill-prepared to do things, and with my son coming soon there's not another way I'd rather have it be.