We received a wonderful and beautiful little girl. She actually looked a little more like me because of her complexion than our biological children. I was in love and cried almost as hard as she did when I first grabbed her. My mind raced with questions, "Why were you taken?" "Have you been held?" "What happened?" I finally calmed myself down and as we went home, I knew that our lives wouldn't be the same.
The first month mom had a visit. We were both there and it was interesting. She clearly loved her daughter. In May grandma was in the picture. She was getting supervised visits. I instantly thought that our plan was derailed; the state loves reunifying children with their families. Why not? That’s their family. I was so sad and emotional that I backed into our garage door (goodbye $100!). I went to the meeting and she was normal. I asked questions and she told me that she prayed about J and said that she was going to try for it. I knew that this could be the end and started preparing my heart just a little bit for a change. J was in our lives for 5 months at this point and the kids had grown to love her. She was their sister. She was growing. She was starting to do all the things that babies do when they get older. I didn’t know how the love for her would come on, but man it was love at first sight for her and now it felt like she was going to be placed with grandma. We understood that came with the territory, but sometimes a visit can change your perspective.
We went through a fantastic and wonderful agency that helped us every step of the way. Each week we had a visit with our case worker. We also had a monthly visit from a worker in the county where we live. Every month they would stop by, but we had a different visitor from the county in June. This social worker was an adoption worker and she asked Staci a question that threw us for a loop, “How does it feel to be adopting her?”
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